I leave this week for Olympic trials. It’s so strange to think that after so much build up it is almost here. For the most part I’ve just been trying to avoid the hype and concentrate on being myself, doing fun things, and having a relaxed but focused attitude going in. I’ve done all the hard work. All that is left is to keep out of my own way.

Unfortunately, taper prevents me from doing a ton of active stuff. It’s also been super hot here. My activities have included playing Scrabble, watching Greg help Lacey and Andrew move all their belongings into their new house on the hottest day of the year, and reading. Relaxing, sometimes funny, but kind of boring.

I’ve also been hanging out in air-conditioned stores (the thermostat in my apartment stops at 88 but we definitely topped it out the other day) trying not to buy too much stuff. I found a whole stack of unused gift cards on my desk and so I’ve been trying to take my shopping urges out in stores that I have a card for. The downside is that I have no idea how much money is on each of the gift cards. Sometimes it’s something like $100 sometimes it is $1.

But it is a strange time, these last few days before Trials. I haven’t really thought too much beyond these next couple weeks and I’ve started to find myself side-stepping the future question all too often, even to myself. Hopefully, I have a long set of traveling coming up, but of course, it’s never good to count your chickens before they hatch. Then again, you never want to plan on losing.

I’m also getting married in just over a year. Who knows where in the world I will be after that.

So when I think to myself, “I might like to buy some pet fish,” I then abandon the idea because I have no idea if I’ll even be around to feed them, or if I’ll have to move them across the country, or if I will be right here, every day, to look at them and enjoy.

Yes, it is an uncertain time, with plenty of questions and an answer looming on the horizon. I try to focus on the answer I’ve worked for. But in the end I will simply have to race with my heart.

This entry was posted on Monday, June 23rd, 2008 at 7:10 pm and is filed under tarakirk. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.