No looking back, only forward
Tony Dungy has a saying, no excuses no explanations. I think he is on to something with this. I am not one to make excuses but I love to explain what happened not realizing that explaining is 95% of the time you making an excuse just verbalizing it differently. So I offer this short account ;-) to summarize last year then I will look forward to this year.
Last year in a race that I was just as capable of winning as everyone else on the line, I lost. There could only be one winner so there is no way I can take anything away from those who did better than me. Bottom line is you can’t win them all and when you don’t you have to try and figure out why fix it and move forward.
At the end of the day it is all about how you adapt and recover. There is going to be bumps and potholes but you must move forward and to be quite frank if you knew what your competitor was going thru you would probably hush up and work harder because what’s on your plate is nothing compared to them.
That is all I plan to offer up about 2008 and anyway there are far more important things than that one race. Like the fact that my father will be unable to watch me make my comeback in 2009. October 26th my father died and suddenly I gained a tremendous amount of perspective. It is so easy to pass judgment of those who have changed as a result of some major crisis in life until it happens to you. I took for granted the fact that he would always be here and convinced myself that his different ailments were all only temporary. Although we were close I didnt spend nearly enough time with him since I have become an adult. I have had severe I can do it by myself syndrome and was so caught up in making him proud by showing him how busy and productive I was being that I forgot to spend time with him. Now I am left wondering who is going to approve of my next boyfriend. Who will this boyfriend ask to marry me, and who will walk me down the aisle once the first two orders of business are taken care of. As trivial an example as my love life is in the big scheme of things the point I am trying to convey is how much I need him yet he isnt here anymore.
Still there is only a certain amount of dwelling you can do before you realize it is your duty to continue to live life hopefully not making the same mistakes with the loved ones who remain. What am I doing different is focusing on what is really important to me, my family. I have realigned what being the best me I can be really means. It isnt being a Olympic Gold medalist or World Champion, acquiring titles and riches or fame. Yes I am still a professional athlete and I still want to the best 100m sprinter in the world but track doesnt define me
My first race is tomorrow on my home track at the University of Miami. I am running the 4×1 and the 200. I am looking forward to getting a feel for how much work I need to do before my first 100m in May. The season is upon us yet again. Praying for a healthy 2009. Check back with you all soon.